OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
