can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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