i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
