Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
