Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
it's like iHOP with fire
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We have started to decorate penises.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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