those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize