Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
