Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Never joke about your clitoris.
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