I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Blood and glitter go together right?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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