R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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