I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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