In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
