He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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