I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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