Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
