i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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