we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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