You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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