Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
