You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
