I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
