Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
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