After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
