I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
