Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize