I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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