Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
