girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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