he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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