Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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