Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
vagina is talking i cant
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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