i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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