Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He better not be in your backpack
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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