I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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