I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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