please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
