I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
