everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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