yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
