you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
