Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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