Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize