I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
