um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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