Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
