I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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