Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
