hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
