Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
