We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
