one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
