He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
