thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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