Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
