R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
