We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
