You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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