trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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