i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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