my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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