Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
