I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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