Plan B is the new Plan A
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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