Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
