Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize